Congratulations on becoming a mom! It's a beautiful, overwhelming, and sometimes scary journey filled with more drool and spit up than can even be explained. While in most cases, the focus for new parents is often on the joy of a new baby, it's important to acknowledge that many new moms experience anxiety and depression after childbirth.
For some reason this is not something mom's are open about. There is often a stigma in society that motherhood is "all butterflies and rainbows" and should be the most glorious experience of your life. And while it is truly a miracle, and absolutely lifechanging in the absolute best way possible, but the "baby blues" are very real and affect so many. I hope if you are reading this, and feel that you have or are currently experiencing this, it isn't a sign of weakness; it's a real medical condition called postpartum mood disorders. Please know this is completely normal and something I am currently experiencing, so know that you are not alone on this journey! So let's get through it together!
Understanding the Symptoms:
Postpartum anxiety and depression can feel different for everyone. While I am no medical expert and I don't have the magic "fix-all" here are some common signs and symptoms I personally experienced since having Luca almost 4 months ago;
Excessive worry and fear: You might constantly worry about your baby's health or safety, even when there's no reason to. These intrusive thoughts can be completely overwhelming and consume every waking minute of your day. I personally fear banging his head into the wall each time I walk through a doorway (yes, I am aware it is bound to happen!)
Feeling overwhelmed and out of control: The demands of motherhood can feel impossible to manage along with your daily necessities. Know that this is okay, and you can only control what you can control each day. (so what if the dishes don't get done today!) I have had more moments of feeling glued to my seat and not being able to move than I can count.
Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed: Things that used to bring you joy now feel unimportant. I can speak from experience that the overwhelming transition and disruption to the routine I once had "pre-baby" is hard, emotional and slightly defeating. There is often little time to do the things I enjoy such as read a medical journal, paint my nails or sulk into the couch and binge watch my favorite show.
Changes in appetite: You might lose your appetite or find yourself overeating. Personally, my nutrition has fallen straight into the garbage. Literally! I have not prioritized my nutrition. This has been a tough one for me especially because I have worked so hard to lose 115lbs prior to having Luca and I gained 60 with him during my pregnancy. The struggle is constant.
Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness: These feelings can be intense and persistent. There are many days that I feel so very guilty for feeling sad or worthless or that I am not a good mother because I feel this way. Reminding myself that this is okay, that having emotions does not make me a bad mother is something I try so very hard to remind myself of! Giving myself some grace each day and knowing I would do literally anything for that little boy is what keeps me going.
Self-Care for New Moms:
Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is crucial for being the best mom you can be. Don't be afraid to reach out to the hospital where you delivered or your OBGYN. I can speak from experience that this is not an easy thing to do however, there are resources available that make this transition a little easier. I personally tapped into my "toolbox" of resources that I have learned and acquired over the years and made the decision pretty quickly that I needed to return to therapy to process these overwhelming emotions.
I tell you all this because I hope that it helps you feel that the load can be more manageable when you actually ask for help. If therapy is not your thing, I understand! Tune into your village, your support system and people who make your life just a little easier. For me, my wife Kassie is just that. She is my rock, my backbone and my strength when the day to day gets just too heavy to carry. Navigating this journey is not easy, but knowing you ARE NOT ALONE, often makes it easier! Each day will get a little better and before you know it, you will start feeling yourself again and your spirit will return.
Give Yourself Grace:
Postpartum mood disorders are NOT your fault, in any circumstance. They are a true medical condition with effective treatments available should you need them. Be kind to yourself during this time. Here are some reminders:
This is temporary: With support and sometimes treatment, you will feel better.
You're not alone: Many new moms experience these challenges.
Ask for help: Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about your symptoms. They can provide medication and or therapy to help you feel better.
Motherhood is a rollercoaster, especially in the beginning. Remember, you are strong, capable, and deserving of love and support. By prioritizing self-care and seeking help when needed, you can navigate these challenges and embrace the joy of motherhood! Remember that this is temporary & you will get through it! Don't forget to remind yourself that a healthy, happy mom is what your baby needs to be happy and healthy too!
So grab your little one & snug them a little longer, know that this is not permanent & remember I am cheering you on each and every step of the way!